Well in all honesty it is only the latter half of the title that should receive any attention. That's right this post is all about how I (Michael, or for those of you who are confused of who the authors are, Wolf) asked Nicole's parents (yes, both of them cause I find it futile to only receive one parents permission) for their permission to marry Nicole, or rather to ask her to marry me.
First let it be said that I feel like I put actually asking off for way WAY to long. I even had a few opportunities to ask but didn't take them and instead turned them into "getting to know you" opportunities since I felt her father and I didn't adequately know one another. But then again I'm not sure that there is ever a moment where you feel like he knows you well enough for you to ask that question.
The mere thought of asking for permission was almost life ending, at least that's the way it ended up in my mind. I'll take this moment to give you some insight into my mind. I am a worse case scenario thinker, I will always think of in my opinion the worst possible outcome of a situation and plan for that. This method of thinking allows for two wonderful things: First, I'm usually prepared for just about anything to go wrong when and if it does. Second, when things don't go wrong or as wrong as I thought they would, it's almost euphoric.
Anyway, on with the story...Having procrastinated the event long enough, and received a few emails from Nicole's mother regarding some timing I decided to call Nicole's father to set a time when we could talk. Naturally I decided to do this as I'm driving to pick up Nicole from work to take her to class as her car is in the shop. Sitting in the parking lot of Nicole's work, staring at my phone while mustering the courage to actually dial the number Nicole sneaks out of work (I say sneaks because I didn't see or hear her) and attempts to open the passenger door to my car which is still incidentally locked. Let me just say I had no idea my heart could beat that fast or what the roof of my car felt like as I hit the ceiling. Needless to say the phone call to her father had to be postponed.
Arriving at my house after dropping Nicole off at class I once again set out to the task of calling Nicole's father. Sitting in the very old lazy boy (it swallows you up in comfort that's how old it is) I finally convince my self to just do it...45 minutes later I placed my call. Despite my silent prayers that I'll get sent to voice mail and be able to ask for a return call her father answers, and I manage to make a bit of small talk before admitting that there was something I would like to talk to him and his wife about and ask if there was a good time that we could meet. I recall even mentioning something about going out for dessert. After a very brief discussion we decided on 7:30pm that very evening.
Mortified and relieved all at once I hung up the phone and called one of my Iota brothers for support. Almost an hour passes and I'm beginning to feel better, most of what helped was two things: First, he had to know what was about to happen. Second, there wasn't anything I could do to stop it now. In short metaphor form, there was a giant boulder at the top of the mountain which was visible to her father and I had finally pushed it rolling down the slope. It was going to reach the bottom no matter what I did the only thing I could control was how.
Luckily my father had asked me if I was interested in going to dinner with him that evening. I agreed and we were off to Dask's (a little Greek restaurant in the Old Mill area). At dinner I talked to my father about what it was like when he asked my grandfather for permission to marry my mother. He related the story of how, when, where and other such things, to be honest I don't know that it helped my nerves any but I don't think anything would have.
Well the time came to leave for Nicole's house to meet with her parents. I got in my car and started heading that direction. About five minutes in to the drive (which is only about 20 min on a bad day) I thought of something that I thought might help, that was to pray. So I began to pray vocally, which felt a little weird at first seeing as I was also driving so I couldn't close my eyes without being a safety hazard, but shortly after beginning my pray I felt two emotions I felt a calming peace (don't get me wrong I was still so nervous the car probably should have been in every lane on the freeway at once but it was different I can't really explain it) and the second emotion was humility. In all honesty I understand where that last one came from because I was reflecting on my life, my imperfections, and what I had set out to do. To spell out that last part for you so you understand a little more, I was asking Nicole's father and mother for permission to marry their last child and ONLY daughter, in short the "Princess".
I arrived at the Holbrook residence slightly late, only by three minutes, and took a brief moment to try to calm my nerves. Approaching the door I uttered one last prayer and then I knocked. I can't tell you who opened the door and invited me in cause I don't remember, nor do I remember the small talk that occurred prior to the question. What I can tell you is that I was invited in to their family room where I sat on one end of the couch. Nicole's mother sat to my right, also on the couch, while her father pulled the recliner around to sort of face us on my left. After a few moments of small casual conversation which I can only imagine consisted of things like "how are you doing?" I finally managed to start into the question, leading with something to the extent of "there is something I'd like to ask you both...".
Having a fairly good idea what the answer would be...oh who am I kidding I knew what the answer would be...but I also knew that there were some concerns which I think is what I was really nervous about. To my great relief permission was given happily and almost right away. The concerns were expressed and discussed, some advice was offered and greatly appreciated and then, since I had mentioned possibly taking them out for dessert a lemon meringue pie was produced and enjoyed by the three of us.
Brad and Heather returned (Nicole's brother and sister-in-law) and were conveniently left in the dark about why I was really there as Nicole had given me a text book to deliver to Brad. Then Nicole returned home from her class, not knowing I had been there for several hours as we used the text book once again for a reason why I was there before her.
Needless to say I was thrilled! I could hardly contain my excitement and started making the necessary preparations to propose, coming up with the plan, involving those who were needed to the plan, and obtaining a suitable ring...
In hind sight, I understand why I was so nervous but what a great experience! Thank you Dave and Arline!
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